Sunday, June 28, 2009

attn: chapbook readers

if you're arriving here from the link from the readsomewords chapbook, here is some important information:

one) thank you for ordering and reading the readsomewords chapbook.

two) I am less interesting and internet active than my esteemed readsomewords co-editor zachary zimmermann.

three) the excerpt in the book is from an ongoing novel of mine called 'the 44 days' which is ever-nearing completion. I am looking for people to help me edit said novel when draft I is finished. if you liked the excerpt or want to laugh at me or want to help please email me and state your intentions.

four) keep checking the readsomewords site for updates and information on subsequent chapbooks.

thx.

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

chapbook rep

the readsomewords chapbook is printed and ready to ship.

you can order one for free here.

finding myself blocked up. getting inspired by reading more from the talented people in our chapbook.

probably will post some new poems here later in the week for you all to read.

Thursday, May 14, 2009

done

here is what my room sounds like right now.

[audio=http://www.cjkrueger.com/media/amb.mp3]

you can listen to it as you read this.
 

 

just finished my philosophy exam and that marks the end of my semester. that means that summer is here for me and I don't really have any obligations anymore except for finding more excuses to not work on my novel.

poetry is coming slowly, as is progress on the novel. I think that maybe when you work on something for years and years by the time you really iron out the story and style you sort of hate it. the absolute best thing would be to finish is as quickly as possible, so that it may loose its hold on my creative impulses / let me sleep at night / lend me some borrowed sense of accomplishment.

 

submissions for the readsomewords chapbook are closing this sunday.

 

I got a haircut.

 

the weather is 
o.k.

Saturday, May 2, 2009

primed

spelling errors & all

primed

Thursday, April 30, 2009

I want to be the end of everything

my villanelle, 'I want to be the end of everything,' won the kirkwood award in formal poetry. I get some money and am going to be reading it on campus today, in about half an hour. 

I want to be the end of everything
by cj krueger


I want to be the end of everything,

the one who shakes the murder from his bones,

and after me no-one should dare to sing.

 

I never want my body bound with string,

or in a coffin while my family moans.

I want to be the end of everything.

 

if even all my talents, gifts I bring

won’t save my life from all those great unknowns,

then after me, no-one should dare to sing.

 

and how unfair, that bells don’t stop to ring,

that people talk, or shit, or wear cologne.

I want to be the end of everything.

 

so I should be my species’ final fling

with happiness, then all can turn to stone.

I want to be the end of everything.

 

if I can’t live forever as a King,

then no-one else should either sit that throne.

I want to be the end of everything,

and after me no-one should dare to sing.

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

the 44 days so far

just as an exercise in breaking myself down as a writer, I uploaded the current manuscript of my oft-claimed 'almost-completed' novel, 'the 44 days' to the tag-cloud generating website wordle.net. here is a cloud of the most used words in the novel.

44 days cloud

interesting, in a briefly masochistic sense, as I will probably be over-thinking my word choice in the coming weeks. hooray.

Monday, April 6, 2009

a while

this is the script I wrote for the incredibly successful 'twenty-four hour project.' there will be a longer post reflecting on the entire process later, but I thought I should get this out there now, to prove to you that I am still committed to updating this thing. here you are, it's called 'a while.'

[scrippet]
Under Manhattan. A still subway. Two benches, a trash can, and the almost infinite track stretching both directions into the gloom. CHANCE sits alone on a bench. He is listening to his iPod, and he is deep in thought. There is giggling, and then MAURA and AVERY enter.

MAURA
Never in my life have I been kicked out of a restaurant.

AVERY
Plenty of other places.

MAURA
Yes, plenty of other places, but never a restaurant, and never for no reason. Didn’t even get to eat dinner.

AVERY
Did we miss the train?

MAURA
I don’t know. Ask the guy.

AVERY
You ask the guy.

MAURA
Fine.

She moves to CHANCE and gets his attention.

MAURA (CONT'D)
Hey, did we miss the train?

CHANCE
No, there hasn’t been one for a while.

MAURA
So it’s coming soon?

CHANCE
Should be.

MAURA
Alright, thanks buddy.

CHANCE
Sure.

She moves away.

AVERY
Did you hear back about that grant?

MAURA
No.

AVERY
Are you ever going to hear back about that grant?

MAURA
I don’t know, I sort of assumed that, much like meeting an ugly guy at bar, them not calling me was tantamount to them telling me I didn’t get the grant.

AVERY
Do you do that a lot at bars, not call ugly guys?

MAURA
Well, I’m not a lush.

AVERY
No, but you do go out to the bars a lot.

MAURA
Okay.

A pause. CHANCE pulls his phone from his pocket, reads a text message.

CHANCE
Lil. Great.

He sends a response. He is still wearing his headphones.

MAURA
Wonder what that was about.

AVERY
Not any of your business, anyway.

MAURA
Doesn’t really matter if it’s my business or not, I’m still curious.

AVERY
Curiosity killed-

MAURA
The cat. Fine, but I’m a lot smarter than a cat.

AVERY
Debatable.

MAURA
You’ve got me thinking about that grant, now.

AVERY
Sorry.

MAURA
I’m just very sick of being a student. I feel like, in most ways, my life is not up to me.

AVERY
That’s a bit of a comfort though.

MAURA
The routine?

AVERY
The routine and the structure. The normalcy.

MAURA
A bit suffocating for a person like me.

AVERY
Nah, you thrive on it.

MAURA
Maybe.

AVERY
Maybe.

A pause. LILIANA enters briskly, confidently, darkly. She takes the vacant seat next to CHANCE.

LILIANA
How you doing, Chance?

CHANCE
Liliana.

LILIANA
Train come yet?

CHANCE
Not yet.

LILIANA
What time is it?

CHANCE
Don’t have a watch.

LILIANA
Girls, you got a watch?

MAURA checks her phone.

MAURA
Phone says-

LILIANA
Hold the phone.
(To CHANCE.)
Why didn’t you just check your phone.

CHANCE
(Biting.)
No fucking service, Lil.

LILIANA
(To MAURA.)
Babe. Time.

MAURA
Uh, 5:52.

LILIANA
Shiiiiit, missed dinner. You eat dinner Chance?

CHANCE
Do I ever eat dinner, Lily?

LILIANA
Not since the night I first met you, you haven’t.

CHANCE
So what’s your guess?

LILIANA
My guess is, no, you didn’t eat dinner.

CHANCE
Correct.

LILIANA
Well. Maybe tonight.

CHANCE
Maybe tonight.

A pause.

MAURA
Maybe tonight what?

AVERY
Maura.

MAURA
Maybe tonight what?

LILIANA
What?

MAURA
You said, ‘Maybe tonight.’ And I’m asking, maybe tonight, what?

A pause.

LILIANA
Maybe tonight the train is gonna be on time. ‘Maybe tonight.’

A pause.

AVERY
Sorry.

LILIANA
For what?

AVERY
For Maura, she’s a little drunk, we got kicked out of a restaurant.

LILIANA
At dinnertime?

AVERY
Yeah.

LILIANA
Shiiiiiit, sun is still up.

AVERY
I know.

MAURA
Wasn’t my fault.

CHANCE
What’d you do?

MAURA
Nothing.

LILIANA
Must have done something, to get kicked out of a restaurant and the sun’s not even down yet.

MAURA
I didn’t do anything.

CHANCE
Sure you didn’t.

MAURA
I didn’t do anything, you don’t even know me.

AVERY
She’s drunk.

MAURA
Son of a bitch waiter.

AVERY
Just a bit drunk.

MAURA
Son of a bitch waiter spills water all over me and I’m, what, not going to say anything?

AVERY
She hit him.

MAURA
‘Course I hit him, I hit him because he spilled water all over me and he laughed about it.

LILIANA
Was it a fancy restaurant?

AVERY
Yes.

LILIANA
I used to go to restaurants.

MAURA
Not even worth it. Food is terrible.

AVERY
You don’t go to restaurants anymore?

LILIANA
I try, but they don’t serve me. Like I’m not even there.

MAURA
You gotta dress slutty.

AVERY
Okay, that’s enough, Maura.

LILIANA
What’s your name, Avery?

AVERY
Did I say that?

LILIANA
No, your friend did.

AVERY
Yeah, it’s Avery.

LILIANA
You young?

AVERY
What’s ‘young?’

LILIANA
Twenty-one?

MAURA
Twenty-two.

LILIANA
Student?

AVERY
We’re students.

LILIANA
I used to be a student.

AVERY
How old are you?

LILIANA
Thirty-three.

MAURA
No shit.

AVERY
You don’t look thirty-three.

LILIANA
Don’t look like I’ve aged a day past twenty-five.

AVERY
You really don’t.

MAURA
Have a secret?

LILIANA
Everybody’s got a secret.

CHANCE
That’s probably enough, Liliana.

LILIANA
Aw, shit. Sat in gum.

CHANCE laughs.

LILIANA (CONT'D)
It’s not effing funny.

CHANCE
Not like it’s going to bother you much at all.

LILIANA
Are you calling me a slob?

CHANCE
You know what I’m calling you.

LILIANA
I know what your calling me but I can’t believe you’d call me that in front of two total strangers.

CHANCE
I’m not sure someone like you should really be talking with people like them, unless you want to get us in trouble, unless you want us to have to sit here and wait for a fucking train until the fucking sky falls in, which could really be any day now the way you go on talking to people about stupid, stupid things that have no bearing on their lives, or on our waiting for the train. You could talk to them until your face turns purple and it’s not going to change anything for the better and it may just change things for the worse. Maybe you should take a walk, Liliana, maybe you should take a walk.

A pause. LILIANA gives a low whistle and moves over to the trash can. She digs out a piece of wadded up paper and tosses it right in CHANCE’S face. He gives a bitter laugh and plugs his headphones back in to his ears. LILIANA sits on the bench by the two other girls.

LILIANA
Sorry about that.

AVERY
That was...weird.

LILIANA
Chance is weird.

MAURA
Do you know him well?

LILIANA
I’d say so. Well as you can know anybody.

MAURA
Known him a long time?

LILIANA
Ten years or so.

AVERY
And is he always like this?

LILIANA
Most nights.

A pause.

LILIANA (CONT'D)
Where are you girls off to?

MAURA
Home. I had enough excitement at the restaurant tonight.

LILIANA
You live together?

AVERY
Yep, roommates.

LILIANA
Cute. Take this train often?

AVERY
Never been to this station before.

LILIANA
I figured.

AVERY
Is the train usually late?

LILIANA
(Laughing.)
You have no idea. You girls got a lot of plans? Things you want to do with your future?

MAURA
Who doesn’t?

LILIANA
Well, I don’t mean to scare you girls, you seem like nice girls, but I don’t think you want to wait around for this train.

A pause.

MAURA
Why?

LILIANA
Just trust me.

MAURA
What?

LILIANA
I say, maybe you should just trust me.

AVERY
You’ve been smiling this whole time, even when he yelled at you.

LILIANA
I like to keep a positive outlook on...

MAURA
On life.

LILIANA
Well, I didn’t say that.

MAURA
But you were going to.

LILIANA
Old habits.

MAURA
What the hell is that supposed to mean.

LILIANA
Just means what it means.

MAURA
You’re not making any sense.

LILIANA
(Laughing.)
Good, good.

She moves back to her seat next to CHANCE.

AVERY
Alright, maybe we should get out of here.

LILIANA
Maybe you should get out of here.

MAURA
You’re here every night?

LILIANA
Most nights.

MAURA
Most nights, or every night.

LILIANA
Every night.

MAURA
Why?

LILIANA
Sometimes people got a powerful connection to a place.

MAURA
Why?

LILIANA
A powerful connection to a specific place. Unbreakable.

A pause.

LILIANA (CONT'D)
Purgatorial. Even.

MAURA
What do you mean, purgatorial.

AVERY
What does that mean?

MAURA
It means Purgatory, Avery.

AVERY
No, what does Purgatory mean?

MAURA
It’s where dead people go when someone decides they can’t go to heaven or hell. It’s where they wait.

A pause.

LILIANA
Maybe you nice girls should just leave.

MAURA
Answer my question.

CHANCE
Maybe you should leave.

MAURA
How long have you been waiting?

CHANCE
A while.

A pause.

CHANCE (CONT'D)
Take a seat if you want.

AVERY
No thank you.

MAURA
Wait.

A pause.

CHANCE
Why don’t you just leave?

AVERY
Maura...

CHANCE
Can you hear the train?

MAURA
Why?

CHANCE
I think I hear the train.

MAURA
Why are you smiling?

AVERY
Maura, it’s time to go.

MAURA
Liliana, why are you smiling?

CHANCE
She’s not going to tell you. She can’t say it out loud.

AVERY
Maura.

MAURA
Right. Time to go.

LILIANA
It’s a secret, Maura.

MAURA
Say it out loud. Say it out loud.

AVERY physically pulls MAURA towards the exit.

MAURA (CONT'D)
Alright, Avery. We’re going.

CHANCE
The train could be just around the corner.

AVERY
I’m not sure we can afford to wait.

LILIANA
(Laughing.)
Good, very good.

AVERY and MAURA exit. AVERY is gone as quickly as she can, but MAURA lingers, and she turns back, once, to watch the phantoms at the station. She leaves. LILIANA picks herself up from the ground and takes a seat on the bench.

LILIANA (CONT'D)
Take a seat, Chance. The train’s not coming tonight.

CHANCE
I can hear it.

LILIANA
It’s just an echo.

CHANCE
Maybe. Maybe.

CHANCE sits next to LILIANA.

LILIANA
Maybe tomorrow.

CHANCE
Maybe.

LILIANA
Ah, it’ll be alright.

CHANCE
Maybe tomorrow.

LILIANA
Yeah.

There is the sound of a train approaching, and CHANCE and LILIANA stiffen, waiting for it to appear along the tracks. It doesn’t.

CHANCE
Maybe tomorrow.

END OF PLAY.

[/scrippet]